These med's are killing me

Lately, I have been on my medications. Saturday morning I got up after about 3 hours or so, worth of sleep. Wait 3:30AM to 7 is like 3 and a half hours I think... I was at the Maid Rite from 8am to 5:30pm, came home and was not able to get to sleep until this morning at 7:01am (last time I had looked at the clock). I woke back up at 9:30AM. I have been up since that time. A grand total of 6 hours of rest in the past two days. I have not been eating much, and I have been very tired and week today from the lack of sleep - problem is, I cant sleep. Wether I rock myself to sleep, listen to music, or just lay there and force myself to sleep. I tried everything. I just can not fall asleep.

Science has proven that after 72 hours of straight, no sleep, the body begins to shut down and people can die from it. But I have gotten some sleep here and there, 3 hours here, and 3 hours there. I need more. I am so worn out lately.

Plus on top of it, I have a constant feeling of nausea. Feeling shitty and feeling like I want to puke, and the only thing that seems to make it better is smoking a cigarette. I do that often too, not good for my health.

There are some other issues on top of all that, that I will not mention here online.

Taking the meds to make things work with those that I love and care about, and enduring all that the meds do to me. Very depressing I must say. Sure, I can eat. But I have no appetite. And if I do, chances are that I may puke it up. I have done so once already in the past few weeks, I have gone back on my medication.

I guess the best way for me to sleep is to invest in Marijuana, and Nyquil. Probably the two best ways, I will be able to fall asleep. Very sad indeed. And I hate it. But I am not giving my medication up, I absolutely need it. They help cope with life better. However there are some drawbacks of course - instead of being angry all the time and doing, saying, breaking and throwing shit around I do things differently. I become stand-off-ish, un-talkative, and most of the time a "whatever" or "ooookay" attitude. Sometimes I may even laugh shit off. I am a lot less vocal with my meds. But when everyone else around IS vocal, its hard for me to cope sometimes.

I dunno... lol... I guess I will just have to trust modern medicine!

Thanks for reading. Enjoy.

Later.